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May 22, 2005

Janeane Garofalo hates the right

I seem to have missed the screed "I hate the right: they're a bunch of stupid stupids" from BoreAmerica favorite Janeane Garofalo. It appears to be from November of last year, and herewith a partial fisk:
I hate the right because they're all about thwarting people's potential. They hinder imagination and the ability to move forward toward enlightenment and modernity.
You have such a pretty face, but I'm torn on the blonde thing. On the one hand I like the contrast, on the other I think I might prefer your more natural color. And, could you dress up kinda preppy? That link says preppy fashion is back in style. But, since it's from 2003 a "liberal" would say, "2003? It might as well be last century!" But, to us right-wingers, 2003 is as close as yesterday.
...If you watched the Republican National Convention, it was basically the Flat Earth Society convening in Madison Square Garden. I covered the convention for Air America Radio, hour after hour after hour. It was the worst collection of white people in America, under one roof, I've ever seen...
Obviously, if Janeane had attended the Black Conservatives Convention, she would never refer to them as "the worst collection of black people in America". And, if she did, she'd be forced to say the equivalent of 1000 Hail Marys by the "liberal" establishment.
...They love to pretend that they are the patriots, and they love to pretend that they support the troops. But what's their number one thing? No taxes. That's their number one prime mover—they don't want to pay into the system...
Obviously, Garofalo has confused "conservatives" with "Grover Norquist". Yes, he's VRWC Member #8, but that doesn't mean every other member agrees with him. Go on Janeane, yes, I'm paying attention to your thoughts...
...They're not capitalists—they're corporate profiteerists. They're robber barons. Guys like Grover Norquist are trying to push things toward a feudal society...
Believe it or don't, this was a "live fisk." In other words, I didn't read the article before I started my work. It looks like I have been proved correct: she thinks #8 and everyone else agrees on everything.
Then there is the immigration issue. This is interesting with the right, because there's a little bit of elasticity there. Whatever's politically expedient, whatever will get more votes, they'll vacillate toward it.
You're so cute when you get righteously angry, Janeane. But, once again, you're confusing George Bush and your false view of Pat Buchanan with what everyone else thinks. Consider the preppy thing, OK? You know, Catholic schoolgirl, something like that. We right-wingers do have one thing in common: plaid turns us on.

Posted in Janeane at May 22, 2005 11:24 AM


Monitoring Air America Radio [TM] so you don't have to.


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