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July 31, 2005

"Air America still recovering from disastrous beginnings"

As part of my goal to keep Air America on the radio - and thus keep this site on the web - the current scandal is forcing me to take drastic action. I've contacted the NYT, LAT, WaPo, and other MSM outlets and started shopping around a way to nip this issue in the bud. All they need to do is give the OK, and get the quoted hosts to sign off on the comments I've attributed to them:
"We all believed in Evan Cohen," a contrite Al Franken said, tears welling in his eyes. "But, he let us down."

The comic - one of America's leading funnymen - was referring to the centrist/liberal network's original chairman. Unconfirmed Internet websites - known as "blogs" - have stated the completely unverified claim that the previous owners of the network are involved in a small loan issue of some kind. The current owners and managers have absolutely no affiliation with the previous owners or managers.

Evan Cohen resigned in May, 2004 under a cloud of suspicion as to his financial and political motives.

"I never knew much about him, but I trusted in his business judgement. Now, I know he let us down. I think I know why: he was a Republican!" an angry Randi Rhodes says.

Cohen was not just a Republican from Guam. He was also a political operative for that party and the former chief of staff for Republican Governor Tommy Tanaka. Tanaka pleaded guilty to corruption charges in 2003. [Note to LAT/NYT/WaPo editor: That Wikipedia AAR entry is a great resource, especially since it has all the facts you want to know.]

According to a clearly agitated Mike Malloy: "This was obviously all part of the Flying Monkey Right's secret plan to undermine our network! Those Nazi fascist brownshirt bastards - they stole that money and now they're trying to blame it on us! Damn them! Damn them to hell!"

Current AAR CEO Danny Goldberg stated, "Obviously, this so-called 'scandal' is part of the right-wing's plan to muffle our growing voice. It's no surprise that this started shortly after the Spring '05 ratings were released, showing us surging ahead in key markets. Have they no shame?"

Evan Cohen could not be reached for comment.
(For examples of this growing meme, see this comment and Elderta's comment here. Note that in "Left of the Dial", their former chairman was "depicted as a complete fraud.")

Examples of AAR's early problems can be found here, here and here.



Posted in Satire at July 31, 2005 11:50 AM

Comments

"We all believed in Evan Cohen," a contrite Al Franken said, tears welling in his eyes. "But, he let us down."
...and then Franken said, "pay no attention to the Benjamins in my pocket."

Posted by: TC@LeatherPenguin at July 31, 2005 01:27 PM

""We all believed in Evan Cohen," a contrite Al Franken said, tears welling in his eyes. "But, he let us down."

The comic - one of America's leading funnymen - was referring to the centrist/liberal network's original chairman."

One of America's leading funnymen?!?!?!?!

Since when? That statement is funnier than anything Franken has ever done!

Has anyone been able to listen to his show long enough to hear the "Oi, oi, oi" segment? A more apropos name would be "Sucks, sucks, sucks!"

The last time Franken was funny was when he was with Davis and he did a skit with Davis on SNL where Franken pretended to be brain damaged (some stretch here, eh?). He said nothing and drooled on himself.

It was his 15 minutes of fame as one of America's leading funnymen. Now he is just an embittered dwarf with delusions of godhood and comedic talent.

If Franken was a horse, they would have figuratively and mercifully shot him a long time ago to put him (and us) out of our misery.

Posted by: Dimsdale at August 1, 2005 05:42 PM

'"This was obviously all part of the Flying Monkey Right's secret plan to undermine our network! Those Nazi fascist brownshirt bastards'

It's a wonder they're not more popular.

'The comic - one of America's leading funnymen '

and Janeane Garafolo - one of the world's most beautiful and entertaining women.....

Posted by: Jack Tanner at August 2, 2005 12:30 PM

Were this a Repuiblican news outlet it would be all over every newspaper!

Posted by: Barbara Bortolazzo at August 9, 2005 02:39 PM


Monitoring Air America Radio [TM] so you don't have to.








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