Larry Ellison to buy Air America Radio?

Will Oracle CEO/President/Owner/Chairman/Guiding Light Larry Ellison buy Air America Radio? That is the latest speculation that various highly-placed media watchers have divulged to this blogger. Under the planned scheme, much of Air America's programming will remain in place, with some minor changes. The name will be changed to "Lawrence Ellison's Air America Radio Global Media Network", and in order to make centralized control easier all operations will be moved to East Newark, in the Frisco Bay Area of California. A special headline-grabbing move will be a "pirate radio" broadcast from one of the billionaire's two luxury yachts which will be anchored in international waters - one off each U.S. coast.

Other possible buyers include:

Bill Gates: After having solved African poverty and after having destroyed thousands of would-be competitors, turning Air America around shouldn't be impossible.

Barbra Streisand/Martin Sheen/Ed Asner/Darryl Hannah (consortium): These four Hollywood actors intend to do for radio what United Artists did for movies, brining a professionalism to the medium heretofore lacking. Even more "progressive" than most AAR hosts, they pledge to bring the Democratic Party back to its populist, collaborationist roots.

Steve Ballmer: More "excitable" than Gates, the Microsoft CEO is also a billionaire. While he looks like the type of person that Democrats demonize, he is actually a committed leftist who created a secret museum in one of his properties dedicated to V.I. Lenin.

Eventually, AAR will be sold or go out of business, and there's a good chance it will be one of those above who buys it, or perhaps someone else entirely.

Posted in Satire at December 4, 2006 09:13 PM

Comments