First of all, I want to stress that none of the recent posts about Janeane Garofalo have been made in a mean-spirited way, but rather in an attempt to help. She still has potential, which I - with all due respect - feel that she's been squandering. So, rather than curse the darkness, I want to light a shining candle which she can head for in her time of need. In addition, Air America hasn't been doing anything and might be off the air for all I know. As a result, I've watched my daily traffic plummet from the astounding high of a few hundred or so visits per day to under 100. Picking up the pace of posts about Janine Garoffallo has increased the traffic a full 50%, and I'm well on my way to meeting the five year plan for this site.
So, in the spirit of giving and attempting to help - and inspired by fellow former Air America Radio host Al Franken/Stuart Smalley, I offer the following list of daily affirmations that I encourage Janeane to start saying to herself as she tours to promote the Pixar flop Ratatouille ("rattatooey"). This might be her last chance in the spotlight, as small and tightly focused as that is, but she can turn it around with the following:
I like to hike in the outdoors. It keeps me healthy!
I don't have to be a tall blonde to be pretty. Plenty of guys like shorter brunettes. Plenty of guys like women with a little baby fat. And, I like me too!
I have a pretty face.
Drugs are bad, and I won't take them except when prescribed by a real doctor.
Drinking to excess is so not cool.
I like my body!
I am a worthy person, and I have many talents.
Smoking is terrible for me. Smoke makes me sick. My nicotine gum is much healthier and doesn't make me cough!
When I shower or bathe, the water on my body feels very good. I enjoy the feeling of water on my skin.
I can both rebel and live a healthy life. I'm rebelling against decadence!
Caffeine makes me jumpy. Just one cup of coffee is fine, thanks!
Just because someone disagrees with me doesn't mean they're evil.
I'm not a piece of meat, and I don't want piercings. My body is a temple!
I've done movies, television, stand-up comedy, books on tape, appearances, and voice-overs. I'm multi-talented and I have a lot of work to be proud of!
Tattoos are for sailors and strippers. I'll look much better when mine are removed. And, I'll feel better too!
I'm proud of my natural body!
I can be concerned about the future of the world, without being glum. I'll try to cheer the world up!
I disagree with conservatives, but that doesn't mean they're bad people.
My sexuality is in full bloom!
Regular yoga keeps me limber and makes me feel great!
I'd like someone to teach me how to rock climb in the 'Gunks. That would be fun, healthy outdoor exercise!
I radiate a healthy glow and vitality that makes others happy to be around me!
If she says these each day, I have no doubt she can turn things around.
Posted in Janeane at June 30, 2007 10:24 AM
Monitoring Air America Radio [TM] so you don't have to.