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June 14, 2007

Janeane Garofalo really, really, really needs help

Exhibit One:
Most of [Janeane Garofalo]'s act revolved around kicking a drinking habit in favor of painkillers, her scatter-mindedness and, of course, politics. To wit: "I take Vicodin now instead of drinking, but I call them 'Vicadoodles.' Who could get addicted to Vicadoodles? It just sounds better. Like 'hobo' sounds better than 'homeless drug addict.'"
Exhibit Two:
...The only way to understand these people, and their fakers, posers and Republican Party, and in the Christian and fundamentalist evangelical world, is half of them don't even believe the shit they say. They just pander. To understand what makes them tick, you would really need to go to neuroscience and behavioral psychology.

...There's plenty of dickheads in this world. It's just the white, conservative religious element that brags the loudest. There're huge assholes everywhere, but they don't tend to get the mic as often. They don't have conventions at Madison Square Garden.

...The rise of right wing radio has been such a machine of disinformation that speaks to the worst in us and of us. That has had a very detrimental effect on society... The only way conservative Republicans can win is through fraud.

...These right-wingers never win. That's why they are so mad and they scream so loud. They never ultimately get their way. If they did, we'd still own slaves and you and I couldn't vote.

...That [Elizabeth] Hasselback needs to go [from The View]. Hopefully she will be pre-registering that child of hers in the armed services, since she's so fucking gung-ho.

[What's her pet peeve?] That! That! [ Laughs ] . Exactly that. Not her, per say, because I don't know her. That, and the nonsense that comes pouring out of right wing radio and Fox. Get your fucking ass over there [ to Iraq ] , dude. If you are so concerned and dedicated, go. Go do your show from there. Volunteer. Carry water out on the field. Bring bandages. Do something. You liars. Pay double taxes, pay your Patriot tax, Mr. I love war. There's nothing more disgusting than a right-winger.
And, those are just the parts dealing with her hatred for those who don't think like her.

Exhibit Three just sputtered its way through the door:
The one thing you've gotta learn about Republicans and right-wingers in general: they're hypocrites. They believe in nothing... except dominating. So they always pretend to be outraged about something. But really, it's them grappling with other personality problems they have. You know what I mean by that? (laughs) The right-wing movement, quote unquote. In this country, like any country. It doesn't matter what nation you live in or what era you live in. A right-winger, a quote unquote conservative is a person who's struggling with a million other demons. That's why they are the way they are. So they always pretend to be miffed about a lot of things, but it's really, it has much more to do with whats wrong inside of them... ...like I said, it's not political. In their case it is personal. It's their personal problems, that's why they're on the right side of things. Whether it's racism, misogyny, homophobia, or being a closet gay, or being a person who is anxiety-ridden or fearful... all of these things lead them to pretend they are Republicans...
Someone needs a visit from Mr. Doctor.

Posted in Janeane at June 14, 2007 02:15 PM

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