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July 05, 2007

How to survive a Janeane Garofalo attack

surviving an attack by janeane garofaloEvery year, thousands of people are attacked and injured by wild animals like bears, mountain lions, raccoons, possums, snakes, bees, and so forth. The common advice with the first two is to remain calm and back away slowly.

Similar advice applies when attacked by other feral beasts such as a Janeane Garofalo, as the accompanying Ad Council graphic illustrates (via this; click for the larger version).

In related news, the know-nothings at AskMen say:

Sure, she's atypical of the standard "sexy" woman in that she doesn't have the classic good looks and body to warrant being labeled a bombshell, but what she lacks in those departments, she more than makes up for with her intellect. And that gusto is the heart of her attractiveness... it would be difficult to call Janeane an "accomplished" actress... At a petite 5'1", it would be tough to qualify Janeane Garofalo as a sex goddess... One negative feature about Janeane that we'd like to point out is her large forehead...

I've probably spent 15 or 16 minutes total seeing JFo, and I never once noticed her forehead. Frankly, I was looking at her chest. And, of course, I'm pretty sure she's shorter than that, and some guys actually prefer shorter brunettes. And, furthermore: she does have a classically pretty face, and her raw intellect isn't a problem. Even her feminism - as she defines it at the Satya link below rather than the Gramscian version that it is in actual practice - isn't a problem. What is a problem is her "personality". And, the tattoos. Check this out. There is precisely one photo there where she looks attractive rather than repellent. It doesn't have to be that way.

To underline that point, from four years ago (at Satya, a site that covers "vegetarianism * environmentalism * animal advocacy * social justice") we read:

Looking through the cafe, I didn't recognize her at first. I didn't expect the tattoos on her forearms and Joan Jett haircut, or the well-worn T-shirt and jeans, and ankles crossed beneath her chair. She looked like a student—nose in a book, wielding a highlighter to mark important passages.

Look, I like Joan Jett, just not in that way and I'm sure the lack of feelings would be mutual.

Someone, please call a shrink.

Posted in Janeane at July 5, 2007 11:09 AM

Monitoring Air America Radio [TM] so you don't have to.


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