« June 2007 | Main | August 2007 »
An Open Plea to Air America Radio
Dear Air America Radio and Mark Green:
Please do something.
You may not know this, being the brother of the new owner and all, but Air America Radio and this site used to have a symbiotic relationship. Sure, it was a bit lopsided, seeing as AAR had maybe a hundred or so times as many listeners as I had visitors, but it was a bit of a healthy "partnership" nonetheless.
The way it worked was this: AAR or its hosts would do something. Then (in true reactionary fashion) I'd discuss it. Then, hundreds or even thousands of visitors would flood this site to read about your shenanigans. It actually worked out quite well.
The problem is you stopped doing things, leaving me to discuss former hosts like Al Franken or Janeane Garofalo.
Please bring back the magic! For instance, there's a list of Boys & Girls Clubs here if you wanted to arrange a "loan" or something. Perhaps you could put Mike Malloy and Ward Churchill in morning drive or something. Maybe decorate Randi Rhodes' office with Christmas trees. Look, you guys are creative, I know that. So, think up something.
Please.
Yours in Secular Progressivism,
/s/
BoreAmerica.com
Posted in Mark Green at 12:34 PM
Frankly Franken: The Real Al Franken
#18 told me I can finally reveal this site about Al Franken (props to 45's team: 632, 849, and 1011). It features a video of Al Franken saying we can't afford to lose in Iraq from a few years ago, followed by another clip of him supporting cutting funding for the troops.
It also has this quote from the alleged comic about whether he's going to move back to Minnesota:
"I visit family a lot, but no, I think I'm in New York pretty much permanently. My life is here, my kids grew up as New Yorkers."
Good work, guys and gals at HQ and the MN chapter!
Posted in StuartSmalley at 04:28 PM
Al Franken: just 18% of donations from Minnesota
In the second quarter, alleged comic and senatorial candidate Al Franken raised more money than the incumbent Norm Coleman. However, only 18% of the amount came from Minnesota, meaning that 82% of Al Frankens 2Q donations came from out of state. In contrast, Coleman was evenly split. In number of in-state contributions, Franken got 4000 to Coleman's 3500.
Where, o where could that 82% have come from? Walla Walla? Cucamonga? Alpine, TX? Ashtabula? Somehow I think the Westside of Los Angeles and Manhattan are better choices, but of course there's always Westchester County and other enclaves of "liberalism" to consider.
Posted in StuartSmalley at 09:36 PM
"Al Franken smacks detractor at Moorhead rally"
The title of this post is what I wish had happened. Instead, it was just a boring campaign stop, followed by this boring coverage/transcription of the event. Note also that Franken was in south Moorhead. He doesn't have the guts to show his ugly mug in the north side of town:
Al Franken spent 15 years making millions of people laugh each week while he starred on NBC's "Saturday Night Live" in the 1980s and 1990s.On a serious note:
He did the same Tuesday night in Moorhead for more than 100 people while campaigning for a U.S. Senate seat from Minnesota in 2008...
Student loan debt is one area Franken plans to address as a senator.If you asked him (something the "reporter" did not), Franken would probably support the DREAM Act, an anti-American bill that lets illegal aliens take discounted college educations from U.S. citizens. So, with one hand he'd be giving, and with the other he'd be taking away.
Federal Pell grants that once covered 90 percent of college tuition now cover only 40 percent, he said. "When I get to the Senate, I'm going to change that."
Posted in StuartSmalley at 11:14 AM
Janeane Garofalo nude (back)!
All five people who are searching for pictures of Janeane Garofalo nude are in luck... in two ways! First, the following clip from 2005's "Nadine in Dateland" shows a little skin: some back, some legback, some shoulder, and... even a tiny little flash of what actually might be some sideboob. She even gets a little wet. However, the other way you're lucky is that it doesn't show that much:
Aside from being horribly directed and edited and, aside from (surprise) Janine herself horribly acted, it's actually pretty cute.
Posted in Janeane at 08:22 PM
Al Franken ad misleads about Norm Coleman Iraq stance
There's a picture here of a full-page ad Al Franken (aka Stuart Smalley) will be running in the Minneapolis Star-Tribune. It features a picture of president Bush together with Minnesota Senator - and Franken opponent - Norm Coleman with this quote from the latter:"We are going to be in Iraq a long time."From that you might assume that Coleman supports the present strategy for an indefinite period. His actual stance appears to be a bit more nuanced, and it's certainly more realistic than the Smalley strategy of beginning a withdrawal immediately.
"We are going to be in Iraq a long time. I am not supporting dates, specific dates, timetables for withdrawal," [Coleman] said. "When my colleagues on the other side of the aisle talk about redeployment, they are talking about getting out of Iraq. I'm not. And simply because that's the reality."
Those who say U.S. troops must be out of Iraq by September are "missing reality," he said...
"Time will prove me right. I'm up for election in '08. If I'm wrong, folks, they'll have a chance to articulate that but I'm fairly confident, as I kind of look at the lay of the land, that we will have a change of mission, we will have significant drawdown but we're doing it without telling the enemy this is when we are getting out of here, without cutting off any funds, any support for the troops," Coleman said...
Posted in StuartSmalley at 07:29 PM
Janeane Garofalo: 9/11 was an inside job!
Garofalogists are currently trying to analyze exactly what formerly cute, now scary Janeane Garofalo is trying to say on this clip from the Conan O'Brien show:
Is she joking? Does she seriously think that 911 was an inside job? Is she now a believer in LIHOP ("let it happen on purpose") or MIHOP ("made it happen on purpose")? Did she just use that as an example of an extreme statement? Doesn't she realize how bad those tattoos make her look? What happened to her voice? Does she look like an incipient bag lady to you too?
Please, please, please Janeane: seek help. In fact, I'll make a deal with her: I'll protect her against the Majestik M13 Lizard People who will no doubt be coming after her due to her revelation, if she'll run away with me to a small town in an undisclosed location. Arcata is nice this time of year, and there's always Vermont. Sedona is good too. Of course, she'll have to have her tattoos removed to help avoid detection from their secret Sputnik mind ray reading machine.
TRUTHER ALERT! UPDATE: Consider the following:
1. Nancy Luft's last known address was in Minnesota; Al Franken - former Jeanine Garoffalo ("JFo") co-host on Air America Radio - is also from Minnesota, and could have easily arranged a mailing address there for his co-host...
2. JFo claims to not have a computer; Nancy Luft hasn't posted to the Internet for a while...
3. Both JFo and Luft are being tracked by the Sputnik Mind Control Lasers operated by the Rockefellers' Rich Man's Mafia with the assistance of the Bilderberger Group and the Trilateral Commission.
The truth is out there. Some just refuse to see it.
THEY'VE GOTTEN TO DIGG UPDATE: There are currently two stories about this on Digg with 163 and 99 diggs respectively. However, BOTH STORIES ARE BURIED. Totally check it out: if you do a search for her last name, you have to check the "Include Buried Stories" box in order to find them. Clearly MK Ultra has been hard at work dealing with the fallout from her shocking revelation.
THEY'VE GOTTEN TO EVERYBODY UPDATE: Despite being #4 in Google for the titular phrase (only behind prisonplanet.com, jonesreport.com, and 911blogger.com) and despite being linked from the Drudge.com backpage, this post has only gotten about 20 or so visits. This is clearly not because no one is interested. No, they are interested, and they do care about what the formerly-cute comedienne has to say. Something else is afoot, and truthseekers are encouraged to find out exactly what it is... and who's behind it.
Posted in Janeane at 10:56 AM
Q: Is covering former Air America hosts covered by our charter?
In a comment on an earlier thread, "MrTed" asks, "why is this site obsessed with people no longer on air america?"
I've thought about that question myself, and I've debated over whether our mandate includes discussing former Air America Radio hosts. And, I'm now here to respond with a resounding, "yes!"
Let me respond to that question with a frank confession: I started this site in a misbegotten attempt to "get to know" one of their former hosts, who I will not name. See, my thinking was that this site would gain reknown as the yang to Air America's yin: that I would become known as the anti-Air America. Eventually - my thinking went - I would be invited onto a panel somewhere in a "face off" with the AAR host I wanted to "get to know", and - despite our differences - we'd "hit it off" and maybe go on to establish a meaningful, long-term relationship.
Almost all celebrities aren't interested in getting involved with someone who's simply a fan; my idea was that I could escape the fan "purgatory" by elevating myself into the pundit class, from which I would be considered a possible relationship choice. You might think it sounds far-fetched, but our fellow VRWC member Brian Maloney has become somewhat of a "radio pundit" due to his reporting on this issue, although as far as I know he's never tried to take advantage of his pundit class membership in order to achieve what I wanted to achieve. Stranger things really have happened and anyway it was worth the little effort I've put into this site.
However, the scales have long since fallen from my eyes, and I now realize I've been wasting my time all these months. I harbor no illusions, as I have now fully realized that Mike Malloy is really, really nuts.
Posted in Blog at 12:08 PM
Sen. Norm Coleman tries to block Fairness Doctrine (sorry, Al)
As this site has demonstrated over hundreds of entries, "liberal" talk radio is a gigantic failure. Only some of that is due to managerial incompetence, fraud, graft, and so forth. The major reason is that people want an alternative from the other media sources, most of which are quite "liberal". In a way, I wish it weren't this way. If it were a success, that would result in more raw material for me to make fun of, and it would also prevent "liberals" from trying to reinstate the Fairness Doctrine and taking other measures to in effect mandate what the listeners of talk radio clearly aren't interested in.Now, Senator Norm Coleman - currently being challenged by former Air America Radio host and putative comic Al Franken - has introduced a bill that would require congressional action to bring the Doctrine back:
"Today, in an age of high-speed Internet, broadband technology and satellite radio, when we have incredible opportunities for people to get access to information, bringing back the so-called Fairness Doctrine is a bad idea, and it's certainly not fair... We live in ... a world in which you can simply change the dial or turn the radio off. But we don't want government in the business of censoring or monitoring and applying a standard that is basically unfair..."What "liberals" really should do is ask George Soros to pay into a fund that would pay people to listen to their radio stations, complete with radios preset to approved stations being air-dropped into cities and empty fields across the nation.
I'S-NOT-DOTTED UPDATE: Peace and freedom-loving Democrats - not a Stalinist bones in their collective bodies - have blocked the amendment. From this:
When Coleman, R-Minn., tried to bring up his amendment Friday to a defense authorization bill, Sen. Carl Levin, a Michigan Democrat who chairs the Armed Services Committee, objected. Levin's office said he objected because the amendment belonged in the Commerce Committee's jurisdiction, and because it would have taken up time while the Senate was trying to debate Iraq...Of course not! Meanwhile, in other news, Big Dumb Ed Schultz will be traveling to Washington DC to talk to Democrats about how to get himself on more stations. The topic of the Fairness Doctrine probably won't even come up! Of course, we'll never know, but trust Dick Durbin, he knows what's best.
...Republicans have seized on a comment made last month by Senate Majority Whip Dick Durbin, D-Ill., who said "it's time to reinstitute the Fairness Doctrine." Durbin's spokesman, Joe Shoemaker, said that Durbin was expressing support for the concept but has no plans to introduce legislation.
"There is no big conspiracy here, there's no secret plan, there's no nothing," he said.
Remember: there is no conspiracy!
Posted in General at 11:24 AM
Mike Malloy on XM Satellite Radio! (Ed Schultz: speciesist?)
There is absolutely nothing going on, so, via this comes the ever-so-enthralling news that quite-possibly-insane far-left yakker Mike Malloy has now joined his Air America co-horts on XM Satellite Radio's 167, aka "The Very Special Channel". I wonder what someone like, say, FDR, would have thought of their description of him:
Generally speaking, he is a traditional Democrat working to return the Democratic Party to its historic liberal roots.
Of course, in order to get people to actually listen to what they call the "Air America" channel they had to bring in someone who's not even on that network - Ed Schultz - to bring in the few who probably listen.
One wonders what no-doubt-meat-eating Big Dumb Ed thinks of sharing a channel with "Go Vegan with Bob Linden":
Linden hopes to connect the dots between going vegan and all aspects of the peace, social justice, and environmental movements, asking listeners to add "speciesism" to that objectionable list of struggles that includes "racism" and "sexism".
Posted in MikeWho at 09:32 PM
Janeane Garofalo: "I bead"
I knew that "liberal" and ex-cutie Janeane Garofalo would turn out to be a beader! Well, actually, I didn't know that:
She also brands herself "a neo-Luddite" who doesn't own a computer or an iPod. "I have CDs. And I make my own jewelry. Well, I bead. I go to bead stores and string beads."
Awww. I actually consider that kind of charming. She beads. But, how is she going to read this site without a computer? Perhaps she could go to the library or something.
FLASHES OF CUTENESS UPDATE: Here she is at the Ratatouille premiere, looking a bit cutely flustered at all the apparently unexpected attention she's receiving:
Posted in Janeane at 03:02 PM
Shock: Al Franken beats Norm Coleman in donations
Alleged funnyman and former Air America Radio host Al Franken (aka Stuart Smalley) has raised $1.9 million in the second quarter of this year for his Senate bid from Minnesota. That beats the $1.6 million raised by his opponent the incumbent Norm Coleman. Franken's fellow Dem/DFRer Mike Ciresi raised $750,000.
Even more shocking:
According to Franken's campaign, more than 95 percent of his contributions in the last reporting period were $100 or less. The campaign said it raised only $5,500 from political action committees... Franken's emphasis on money raised from small donors could be a way to deflect criticism of "Hollywood" money, which he has tapped from friends and colleagues from the entertainment industry. In the first quarter of the year, scores of actors, writers, producers and others from that field contributed to Franken's campaign...
Of course, the positive sign (for America) is that Coleman has more cash on hand.
Posted in StuartSmalley at 02:55 PM
Air America airbrushes 7 Days in America
Throughout their history, "liberals" have loved to airbrush things, whether in the Soviet Union or right here in the U.S. However, the image to Air America's "7 Days in America" involves a slightly different form of their stock technique:
Look, I like Arianna, and I not only think she's sexy I've tried to tell her that over at her site (those comments, surprisingly, weren't approved). But, let's not try to make her look like she's 22, OK? Of course, I strongly suspect that this image was altered for the benefit of Marc Green, aka "Pleather Face".
Posted in Mark Green at 10:52 AM
BoreAmerica web traffic surpasses Air America Radio!
I was shocked and surprised to learn that - if Alexa.com is to be believed - AirAmericaRadio.com has a "Traffic Rank" of 1,401,303, meaning that there are over 1 million sites that get more visitors that the left-leaning radio network. By contrast, there are only nearly one third as many sites that are more popular than our main site. Even a barely-visited site I've had since 1996 gets more traffic.
Intrigued, I decided to graph my traffic against that of Air America's, and I discovered this extremely interesting graph. Their traffic is in brown, and this site's is in blue... and in April I surpassed them! (I've already sent both Matt Drudge and Sheldon Drobny messages and they inform me that they're investigating and will report).
Bear in mind, I'm not that familiar with Alexa, so I might have pressed the wrong button or put something in the wrong way round, so I don't know whether that's accurate or not. But, it is at least a little heartening, now that the Janeane Garofalo micro-boomlet is over and there's absolutely nothing left to talk about.
Posted in Satire at 09:47 AM
Randi Rhodes: transphobe! (Ann Coulter)
One of the core tenets of "liberalism", aka Gramscism, is that "liberals" can't be racist, homophobic, or all the other names "liberals" accuse non-"liberals" of being, no matter how racist, homophobic, etc. those "liberals" in fact are.
For instance, on this excerpt Randi Rhodes says she wants to "kick Ann Coulter in the nuts", and there or elsewhere she's engaged in the now-standard "liberal" "joke" of pretending she's not really a woman.
Now, surprisingly, one site is leading the clarion call to reveal Randi Rhodes for what she is:
Listening to Randi Rhodes on Air America Radio I heard her mock Ann Coulter, insinuating she was a transsexual. This is insulting to Ann Coulter on a purely personal level, and it's demeaning of anyone trans because of the stereotypes. Just goes to show you that ignorance, bigotry, and transphobia isn't exclusive to right wing Republicans.
For shame Randi, for shame.
Posted in RandiRhodes at 03:04 PM
Q: Is Air America Radio still around?
A: Yes, as of approximately 12:18PM Pacific time on July 5, 2007, Air America Radio is still broadcasting. This post will be updated when that changes.
Posted in Satire at 12:18 PM
How to survive a Janeane Garofalo attack
Every year, thousands of people are attacked and injured by wild animals like bears, mountain lions, raccoons, possums, snakes, bees, and so forth. The common advice with the first two is to remain calm and back away slowly.
Similar advice applies when attacked by other feral beasts such as a Janeane Garofalo, as the accompanying Ad Council graphic illustrates (via this; click for the larger version).
In related news, the know-nothings at AskMen say:
Sure, she's atypical of the standard "sexy" woman in that she doesn't have the classic good looks and body to warrant being labeled a bombshell, but what she lacks in those departments, she more than makes up for with her intellect. And that gusto is the heart of her attractiveness... it would be difficult to call Janeane an "accomplished" actress... At a petite 5'1", it would be tough to qualify Janeane Garofalo as a sex goddess... One negative feature about Janeane that we'd like to point out is her large forehead...
I've probably spent 15 or 16 minutes total seeing JFo, and I never once noticed her forehead. Frankly, I was looking at her chest. And, of course, I'm pretty sure she's shorter than that, and some guys actually prefer shorter brunettes. And, furthermore: she does have a classically pretty face, and her raw intellect isn't a problem. Even her feminism - as she defines it at the Satya link below rather than the Gramscian version that it is in actual practice - isn't a problem. What is a problem is her "personality". And, the tattoos. Check this out. There is precisely one photo there where she looks attractive rather than repellent. It doesn't have to be that way.
To underline that point, from four years ago (at Satya, a site that covers "vegetarianism * environmentalism * animal advocacy * social justice") we read:
Looking through the cafe, I didn't recognize her at first. I didn't expect the tattoos on her forearms and Joan Jett haircut, or the well-worn T-shirt and jeans, and ankles crossed beneath her chair. She looked like a student—nose in a book, wielding a highlighter to mark important passages.
Look, I like Joan Jett, just not in that way and I'm sure the lack of feelings would be mutual.
Someone, please call a shrink.
Posted in Janeane at 11:09 AM
Pure class: Jeanine Garofalo treats rash during interview
[UPDATE 2: Janeane Garofalo says 9/11 was an inside job!]
The interview here - conducted by "Hooman" from Bay Area radio station Alice 97.3 - features Janeane Garofalo revealing that she occasionally gets a rash that extends from her hand up her arm, and she claims to not know the reason why she's so afflicted.
Not only do we get that wonderful news, but during the interview she reaches into her purse and rummages around for band-aids and starts putting them on.
To a certain very small extent this is cute 'n' quirky. However, to a far, far greater extent it's disturbing. Please, Jeanene, seek help or at least start saying those daily affirmations.
UPDATE: In response to the first (and what will probably be the only comment), I don't know whether it could be Lyme Disease or not. If it was, where would she have gotten it from? I'm sure all the ticks in NYC have been eaten by the giant rats, and she isn't exactly the outdoors type as much as we here wish she were.
Posted in Janeane at 10:51 AM
Al Franken: daily affirmations
Because I care about former Air America Radio hosts whose careers have since gotten even worse, I've decided to help Al Franken out with the following set of daily affirmations. While - of course! - Franken is the extremely talented creator of Stuart Smalley and thus is able to come up with his own helpful sayings, sometimes these things are best provided by those with a more objective perspective.
So - just to help him out in his Senate bid - I offer the following helpful list of things he can say to himself each day:
-----------------------
I admire my daughter for having the guts to discuss her bathroom habits not just in public but at the Huffington Post. Would that every politician's daughter were so forthright!
My earlier work with Saturday Night Live was, objectively speaking, very funny. I'm very proud of it and I have nothing to be ashamed of!
Bernie Sanders is the very epitome of an independent politician.
I love the people of Minnesota!
Minnesota Nice is quite alright with me! I don't for a moment miss the hustle-and-bustle of the big city.
My new life in Minnesota is much more laid-back, and it lets me concentrate on the things that are really important, like all those bean feeds and pot luck suppers and such like that, dontcha know.
It's great to see Randi Rhodes hanging on at Air America Radio and leading the fight for true progressivism. I wish her the best!
I love bean feeds!
I'm proud of the work I did for Air America Radio, and I was worth every penny that they paid me.
If I had to spend the next twenty years attending bean feeds and meeting the people of Minnesota, I'd do it!
I'm not ashamed of having lied about knowing about the loan that Air America's former-former owners took from a Boys and Girls Club, because I didn't lie! I didn't know about that loan because even though I signed a legal agreement saying that I had read the entire agreement I obviously skipped over the part discussing the loan. I skipped over that part. I didn't read it. I didn't know about it. It's OK!
I need to win this one! George Soros, Barbra Streisand, Ed Asner, and Sting are counting on me! Let's win this for the team!
I've had to "get physical" in a few cases to defend liberalism, and I'd do it again. Our communal philosophy is worth defending, even if I need to throw a few chairs to do it!
Despite what the enemy says, I wrote all those books myself. Those Harvard students were just research assistants, I'm the one who did the actual writing. I'm a good writer.
People enjoy my comedy and my wit.
-----------------------
Posted in StuartSmalley at 11:23 AM
