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Al Franken pledges to "take a look" at 9/11 Truther video
9/11 Truthers recently confronted Al Franken with evidence that 9/11 was an inside job. On the following video, the senatorial candidate claims he doesn't believe in such conspiracies and he doesn't support an investigation into what really happened. However, that's all for show. Al knows what really happened. He just doesn't want to admit that on tape. In fact, he's waiting until he gets into office, then you'll see what I like to refer to as "Super Al": an investigating, take-no-prisoners madman who'll get to the bottom of the issue.
Posted in StuartSmalley at 09:59 PM
Rachel Maddow, Mr. Soros would like to have a word with you
"Oh, hi Rachel! Say, Mr. Soros said he'd like to have a word with you after your show. He's in Mark's office."
"Oh. What's it about?"
"I'm afraid I don't know. Say, did you make any copies of your key to the control room?"
"No, why?"
"Oh, I'm just asking. Oh, look, they're towing your car."
"WTF?"
"You better go speak to Mr. Soros right now. Here, I'll finish your show for you."
Posted in AlsoRans at 10:36 AM
KLSD San Diego: no more Air America Radio?
Oh, the horror: San Diego's KLSD 1360 AM may soon knuckle under to Rethuglican pressure and get rid of Air America Radio programming, converting to sports talk or something else. The station's website says:
YES, there are rumors flying about KLSD changing format. And while various options are under consideration, we also want the progressive voice to remain heard in San Diego. Stay tuned and we will keep you informed. Thanks for listening and supporting KLSD
To the barricades, comrades! In fact, the station itself is apparently involved in a protest on Monday against Clear Channel, and the Progressive Democrats of America's San Diego cell is involved.
Judy Hess, leader of Progressive Democrats of America's San Diego chapter, said she received an e-mail from the Vice President of programing for Air America nationally on Thursday, August 23rd. “What a shock…He said he wanted to work with me to coordinate efforts to save the station,” she revealed. "I later spoke by phone with him and the Chief Operating Officer," she confirmed. Hess later arranged a phone conference yesterday with Air America's Vice President of programming and leaders of various organizations to create a strategy for mounting a massive campaign to save Air America’s San Diego affiliate.
Celebrities will be at the protest, perhaps even including:
"KLSD is best described as Radio Free San Diego," international award-winning BBC journalist Greg Palast, author of ARMED MADHOUSE: From Baghdad to New Orleans --- Sordid Secrets and Strange Tales of a White House Gone Wild, told BRADBLOG. "Despite what the rest of America thinks, it's not just a town of navy guys looking for a way to get to Tijuana. A huge new progressive community has made KLSD one of Air America's strongest outlets - which makes a format change suspect. Local voices like Stacey Taylor and John Elliott are crucial to remaking the California political landscape. I guess that's why they want to silence their microphones."
Indeed. [raises eyebrows]. Indeed.
All right-thinking comrades are urged to visit www.saveklsd.com and www.nonstopradio.com/sandiego.html
Posted in Meta at 02:37 PM
24, Jack Bauer: send Janis Gold to Gitmo!
This entry is an open plea to Special Agent Jack Bauer: please send Janis Gold to Guantanamo Bay ("Gitmo"). You already know that FBI Agent Gold (aka Janeane Garofalo) is a member of the ACLU - remember when she dropped her hemp purse and her membership card came flying out? What you probably don't know is that due to her liberalism she's a sympathizer with the terrorists, the ones who are planning the strike even as the clock ticks down.
Agent Bauer: I urge you to send Gold to Gitmo, or put her on a special rendition flight to Egypt or Turkmenistan so that all she knows can be revealed.
Posted in Janeane at 08:04 PM
Al Franken spins his and Coleman's donations
The following video is from the Al Franken campaign and features the candidate spinning his campaign contributions in the best way possible; notably he doesn't mention all the Hollywood money he's received. This is also here in case you want a vivid reminder of just how boring he was when he was on Air America Radio. If you're viewing this in your car, please pull over to a rest area first:
I note also that Stuart Smalley's web minions didn't approve the following comment I left; having an open debate is scary when you have no argument.
Franken doesn't have the guts to even mention what Bush was actually doing before the Coleman fundraiser. Bush was in Canada attending the SPP summit, something that someone like Franken probably supports.
Posted in StuartSmalley at 12:53 PM
Janeane Garofalo barefoot pictures?
The failed Air America Radio hostess is experiencing a minor blip due to Janeane Garofalo recently joining the cast of Fox's TV show 24. So, I think this is as good a time as any to issue a bit of a "bleg": does anyone have any pictures of "JFo" bare of foot? (It's for a school project, so it's OK). In an interview with Amy Sedaris she admitted that she "enjoyed" being in that state (link).
But, so far, the only one I've been able to find is this, but it's not a high-quality image and the left edge is missing! I do note however that at the time that was shot she was pleasantly "healthy" looking, quite unlike her recent gaunt phase. But, as you might suspect, there was trouble lurking below the surface: her smile looks a bit forced, although one can never tell.
If anyone has any pictures or videos with scenes along these lines, please leave them in comments.
9/10/07 UPDATE: I just got a search result hit from someone looking for the exact same thing. It's good to know I'm not the only one with this extremely rare affliction. And, I mean extremely rare. Welcome, friend, you are not alone.
Posted in Janeane at 01:03 PM
Janeane Garofalo joins 24 cast (Jack Bauer, Gitmo)
Troubled ex-cutie Janeane Garofalo will be joining the cast of Fox's TV show 24, sources say. Apparently, Jack Bauer (played by Kiefer Sutherland) is in some sort of crisis, and Garrofalo will be playing a government agent who joins the team to sort out the crisis he's in (sorry, I don't watch the show).
The "outspoken liberal" will eventually be revealed as an al Qaeda plant and be sent to Gitmo. Once there, Janine will be forced to undergo Catholic School Therapy and will be eventually released, after which I'll give her a shot. Or, at least that's what would happen if I wrote it. In actual fact, like everything else she touches, the show will probably go down in flames shortly after she joins the cast.
Alternatively, she could play a mousy-but-cute librarian who only looks like she could be a lesbian and who leads a cell of CryptoNazis who are planning a government takeover in an attempt to convert the nation to socialism through finally establishing HillaryCare. Martin Sheen will also join the cast as the real president of the U.S. that "Team Garofalo" wants to install to lead the new country.
IMPORTANT UPDATE: I have been informed that waterboarding someone and giving someone a swirly are not the same thing, and I have accordingly removed that section of this post. I apologize both to Janeane and to my readers for the error.
(SOMETHING OR OTHER) UPDATE: Caught on the set of Binky - the Canadian-filmed TV movie about a dog - Jeanine said the following:
That the show is right-leaning, and Garofalo is an outspoken Bush and Iraq War critic is, she says, half-joking, "much to my chagrin. That's why I feel like I'm being punked. I feel like the creators are going to make me say things that cause my sphincter to tighten."
She is truly a classy lady. Maybe Sister Natalie would be willing to take her under her wing or something.
REALLY EMBARRASSED UPDATE: In the title to the previous update, this site had responded to JFo's comments by referencing something or other. At the time I thought it was cute; now I realize it was in extremely poor taste. I apologize to everyone.
Posted in Janeane at 07:41 AM
Air America: news for week ending August 18, 2007
Posted in Satire at 09:28 PM
Binky: Janeane Garofalo in Lifetime movie of week
There is indeed life beyond made-for-DVD movies and web-download-only movies, and it's called "appearing in a movie of the week on the Lifetime Channel".
And, that's the life that ex-cutie Janeane Garofalo will be enjoying in Ottawa (Canada) for the next few weeks as she's filming/videoing what is tentatively titled "Binky". The titular star of the movie is a dog who's given to the direly-in-need-of-help actress (playing a rock critic who's fed up with her boyfriend):
"And I don't initially love the dog... but I go through my mid-life crisis while driving cross-country with (him), and it's one of those movies -- journey taken and then I love the dog."
At this point in time I could totally go for a cheap laugh, but I won't. Because I want to be positive and offer help, and then maybe I might give her a shot.
L'UPDATE: Beaucoup de gens - specificament trois ou quatre - a visite cette fueille de toile, y inclus quelqun de l'officiel gouvernment de Canada! Bienvenu a toutes! Les gens de Canada doisent d'etre especialement fier de Binky, parce que Janine est la plus grande "etoile" qui a jamais apparu en leur pais! Mes felicitations a toutes!
Posted in Janeane at 10:44 AM
Air America: news for week ending August 11, 2007
Here's a round-up of this week in Air America Radio news:
* Jerry Springer will be coming back to Air America with a floating, 3 minute segment entitled "Jerry's Progressive Thoughts" in which he'll offer brief commentaries on the news of the day and the week. He is no longer on Dancing with the Stars. To the best of our knowledge, he is not under indictment or running for office anywhere at the present time.
* Al Franken's fundraiser in East Saskawatchaholee Lake, Minnesota was a rousing success, with visits from Michael Moore, Bernie Sanders, and Bob Avakian. Moore presented Franken with a total of $50,000 raised from various Hollywood celebrities like Barbra Streisand, Martin Sheen, and Laurie David.
* Janeane Garofalo - who disappeared from public view after Ratatouille flopped - has been selected for a supporting role in the adolescent sex romp "Double Dumplin's". It will be directed by Delbert Simkin, formerly 2nd unit director on some of Jim Varney's movies. Gilbert Gottfried and Paulie Shore make cameo appearances, and Jim Axelrod of CBS News will play himself. For her role, Garofalo will be "re-augmented"; fans may remember that, in an early and brilliant career move she had herself "reduced". Production will begin in September, with the movie available as early as November in either DVD format or as a direct web download.
* Mike Malloy has released a statement apologizing for his earlier comments and emphasizing that he was only joking about taking hostages.
Like bits of string, we will collect this week's news and have them for you next week in this same digest format.
Posted in Satire at 09:16 AM
AAR, Garofalo, Franken, Malloy Fame-o-Meter
Every week from now on, I'll be charting the relative fame/activity level of various current and former Air America hosts and personalities in order to keep you aprised of who's hot and who's not. Here's this week's chart, together with an unrelated-to-AAR control subject:
Bonus note: Democrats will be happy to hear that I created the chart using a state-funded online program: nces.ed.gov/nceskids/createagraph/default.aspx
Posted in Meta at 08:11 PM
Bridge expert Sheldon Drobny: no need for concern
In addition to being the co-founder of Air America Radio and one of the only accountants admitted to plead cases before the IRS court (or something like that), Sheldon Drobny also has comforting words for America:
Therefore, my conclusion is that the I35W Bridge collapsed because of human error or incompetence. On the whole, the bridges in America are reasonably safe and there is no need to have excessive concerns or fears about driving over them. And I also believe that this is true of air safety, subways, and the rest. The chances of your demise from one of these events including terrorism are about the same as winning the lottery. But, the MSM will try to sell you on anything that gives them a larger audience. If you believe the MSM, I have a bridge I would like to sell you; Brooklyn or "to nowhere."
Posted in Sheldon Drobny at 01:40 PM
Ed Schultz: Minnesota bridge fell because of Bush
According to this, Big Dumb Ed Schultz (paraphrasing) said the following today regarding the section of I-35 that collapsed yesterday in Minneapolis:...the only reason Bush is talking about fatalities is because he didn't give MN enough money to maintain the bridge.At the time that it fell, they were... maintaining the bridge. And, let's turn to this August 10, 2005 press release (link):
U.S. President George Bush signed a $286.4 billion six-year transportation reauthorization bill Aug. 10, 2005 that covers federal fiscal years 2004-09.
Although the details of the reauthorization package are still being reviewed, Minnesota state and local governments can expect to receive about $3.5 billion in federal transportation funding through 2009, an increase of about 46 percent (or about $1.1 billion) over the previous six-year bill.
...[Lt. Gov./Commissioner Carol Molnau says:] "After nearly two years of extensions, Mn/DOT is very pleased that Congress has finally passed a long-term transportation funding reauthorization bill. The new bill is good news for the country and will be of great benefit to Minnesota... Many highway projects under construction throughout the state, and many planned for construction in the near future, are the beneficiaries of the new federal bill"...
Posted in Ed Schultz at 01:54 PM
Air America Radio dumps Mark Riley (The Struggle Continues!)
Air America Radio continues The Struggle against the relentless reactionary onslaught, this time having to dump Mark Riley from his evening slot on the "Air Americans" show due to pressure from the far-right-wing-haters.
Despite what you might have read, this isn't because they have little or no money:
Air America president Mark Green indicated it was largely a financial decision to release Riley, an original network host. Green called him "an exemplary and loyal Air American."
He'll be replaced by back-to-back shows featuring Richard Greene and Bree Walker. It's unknown whether Greene is the British actor, the fiddle player, the Klansman, or just a complete nobody who works cheap (en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Greene_%28disambiguation%29).
Special personal helpful note to Air America Radio: if you need a loan, there are funding sources listed here. Getting a new "loan" would help them hire back some staffers.
Posted in AlsoRans at 11:46 AM
Paranoid John Edwards lies re: silencing Ed Schultz
Consider these irresponsible comments from John Edwards (aka "Silky Pony", "The Breck Girl") on the Big Dumb Ed Schultz show:
"We have to fight back against these people. We can't let them do this kind of stuff to us. And they're always going to be very powerful forces that don't want us to hear my voice, and the voices of those like not just me, the voices of those like us. They want to shut all of us up, Ed. That's what this is all about. I'm amazed you're still able to talk on the radio. They don't want to hear this stuff. And what we have to make clear is we're gonna stand up and fight and we together, all of us, we will not be silenced."
Talk about tin foil! And, not the Reynolds tin foil that sells for $1.48 per roll last I checked, but the generic variety that retails for $0.49, with a special buy of the variety that ranges between 0.0172 and 0.02mm thickness for 10 packages for $4.74. Go to the store and buy some, today, tomorrow, and all next week! (Fun fact: despite being called "tin foil", most of that available in corner shops and convenience mall stores and variety shops and grocery stores such as Vons and Safeway is now made from aluminum, called in "Brittania" "aluminium".)
Of course, it's irresponsible statements like these that one frequently hears during mid-summer, as people realize that the wonderful weather - in the 80s and 90s here in Los Angeles - will soon come to a close, with the leaves blowing in the ever-coldening wind. The season of candy apples will soon be nigh, followed by Old Saint Nick in his sleigh, ready to distribute presents to children from Albany to Secaucus to Sedona to Everett to Flagstaff to Livonia. Ah, to be in the shadows of Vermont's Green Mountains during that wonderful time of the year! That will soon be followed by the New Year's Festivities and all the celebrations that entails for all.
To reiterate, there is no conspiracy, no "group", no "council of elders", and no one is trying to shut down Ed Schultz.
Posted in Ed Schultz at 12:01 PM
