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August 21, 2007

Janeane Garofalo joins 24 cast (Jack Bauer, Gitmo)

Troubled ex-cutie Janeane Garofalo will be joining the cast of Fox's TV show 24, sources say. Apparently, Jack Bauer (played by Kiefer Sutherland) is in some sort of crisis, and Garrofalo will be playing a government agent who joins the team to sort out the crisis he's in (sorry, I don't watch the show).

The "outspoken liberal" will eventually be revealed as an al Qaeda plant and be sent to Gitmo. Once there, Janine will be forced to undergo Catholic School Therapy and will be eventually released, after which I'll give her a shot. Or, at least that's what would happen if I wrote it. In actual fact, like everything else she touches, the show will probably go down in flames shortly after she joins the cast.

janeane garofalo cute

Alternatively, she could play a mousy-but-cute librarian who only looks like she could be a lesbian and who leads a cell of CryptoNazis who are planning a government takeover in an attempt to convert the nation to socialism through finally establishing HillaryCare. Martin Sheen will also join the cast as the real president of the U.S. that "Team Garofalo" wants to install to lead the new country.

IMPORTANT UPDATE: I have been informed that waterboarding someone and giving someone a swirly are not the same thing, and I have accordingly removed that section of this post. I apologize both to Janeane and to my readers for the error.

(SOMETHING OR OTHER) UPDATE: Caught on the set of Binky - the Canadian-filmed TV movie about a dog - Jeanine said the following:

That the show is right-leaning, and Garofalo is an outspoken Bush and Iraq War critic is, she says, half-joking, "much to my chagrin. That's why I feel like I'm being punked. I feel like the creators are going to make me say things that cause my sphincter to tighten."

She is truly a classy lady. Maybe Sister Natalie would be willing to take her under her wing or something.

REALLY EMBARRASSED UPDATE: In the title to the previous update, this site had responded to JFo's comments by referencing something or other. At the time I thought it was cute; now I realize it was in extremely poor taste. I apologize to everyone.

Posted in Janeane at August 21, 2007 07:41 AM

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